


I’m Too Old For Fairy Tales

by MorganasCrow



Series: Winds of Change [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexual Character, F/F, Greysexuality, Homoromantic, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-07 00:56:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4243350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganasCrow/pseuds/MorganasCrow





	I’m Too Old For Fairy Tales

"I hate my life so very bad!"

\- Lindemann (Praise Abort)

 

Morgause couldn’t believe her eyes. There was almost everyone from the school in the hall. Like if it was mandatory to attend their concert. She was nervous... cello was slipping ’cause of the sweat covering her hands. Her eyes sought Morgana. She loved Morgana with all her heart, though she didn’t know her in person. She passioned for no physical contact excluding a kiss - Morgause had been confused for a very long time... before she found out the existence of greysexuals. Everything fell to it’s place. Almost everything. There was one more issue to solve. "Morgause!" Freya. I don’t understand why do they ship me with her, thought Morgause. She’s straight. "Move your pretty ass and go to bring your cello!" "Sure... sorry." Fuck. Morgause had almost forgotten. She didn’t feel in her skin... she never did actually. She was trapped in this male body. Morgause hated his body. She always wore skirt and sometimes even a corsett... they hopefully didn’t care here. But no-one helped her.

Well- the time was up. Morgause sat, grabbed her cello and adjusted her mic. She scanned the audience. There she was- Morgana stood in front row as she always did. Morgause felt envious. Yeah, I know Freya plays guitar well. I also love her solos. But why the fuck are all the nice chicks I have crush on absolutely adoring her? Fuck it! Well- it’s high time. They started to play. At least something I can be proud of. Morgause’s crispy voice was unique: "Well, I was going nowhere from Cork to Kerry Mountains, yeah, I saw captain Farell and his money he was counting..." Everyone sang Whiskey in the jar along. Morgause’s eyes fixed Morgana. She loved to watch her partying. Morgana was the only one who attended each of their shows. Every single one - she came even at the one on December 25th. That show ended up as an acoustic meeting of the band and seven fans. Six random visitors of the pub and Morgana. Oh, Morgana. She’s the one... unattainable. A teardrop crawled into Morgause’s eye.

"Well- sorry, dudes, but the party’s over." Freya was talking shit again. Yeah, we’re glad you came, yeah, buy us some beer, yeah, you’re awesome, yeah, blahblahblah... Go fuck yourself, thought Morgause bitterly. It’s time to attend the afternoon class... ah, her class of writing... Even Morgana attends it... Another bitter time spent, another nail into my coffin. I don’t care. Hate me, but I don’t really give a single fuck. Morgause covered herself with these gloomy thoughts.

"Hey, Morgause." Mordred. "Hey. How’re ya doin’?" Fucked up, ran through Morgause’s head. "Fine." "Yeah... look, I just wondered.. may I ask you something intimate?" Go fuck a landmine, thought Morgause. "Yeah?" "Whom do you screw - chicks or pals?" Morgause had no passion to get into a debate like this... "Neither," she uttered. "See?", started Leon, dragging Mordred away. "Told ya he’s queer." Morgause glimpsed at the crosses swinging around their necks. Yeah, I’m queer, she thougth. Fuck you, bigots.

Morgause went to the ladiesroom and washed her face. The door opened behind her. "Oi, boi," she heard. "Ya know this is ladies’ bathroom?" Fuck! You’re still trapped in your body, Morgause. Fuck! "I... I’m sorry, I must have... eh... missed the correct door." Great. Now she’s gonna think I’m a fucking perv. Why it had to be Morgana? Shit! Morgana followed Morgause out of the door. Morgause sat on the bench and hid her face in hands. She had to think. Morgana sat next to her. "I’m sorry. You’re T?" Morgause felt the bitter aftertaste. Fuck. "It’s a little bit more complicated." "Tell me...," begged Morgana. "I’m affraid you wouldn’t understand." "You underrate me," stated Morgana in a fake angry tone.

Well... what can I lose? She has probably condemned me already. "I... dwell in... the incorrect body," started Morgause. "I am..." She thought for a while how to shape her thoughts... how to formulate the burning issue... "I am transsexual homoromantic greysexual." Ok. Now ask me to repeat it, then burst into laugther and finally despise me, thougth Morgause. Her bitterness was almost bile-spawing. But Morgana didn’t laugh. Her eyes were full of understanding. "I get it... I’m ace. Homoromantic, obviously. But I liked you... now I see why - you seemed so femine. It seems I could love you..." "But I would have to undergo the operation... and I’m lacking cash." "Well... I know some people... who could lend you cash. Lotta cash." Morgause couldn’t believe her ears. "And I would wait for you..." Yeah, sure. "I’m too old for fairy tales." She shouldn’t say that. Morgana caught her hand. Suddenly a razorblade appeared in her hand. She quickly parted the skin on Morgause’s wrist. "What the f-"... before she finished, Morgana slit her wrist as well and laid it upon Morgause’s, so the throbbing wounds were in contact... love was in the air and rushed through their veins, mixing on the edges of the cuts. "We’re blood sisters now," started Morgana. "and sister stick up with each other. I will be with you. I will help you to become yourself."

 

"I'll wipe your tears away.  
I'll wipe your bloodshot eyes."

\- U2 (Sunday Bloody Sunday)


End file.
